dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
