am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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