Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
did i just pee glitter
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize