I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
My life is pants optional.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
