Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
