i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
