i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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