sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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