Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
