we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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