would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
