i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
