I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
