I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
