Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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