LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
