This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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