I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize