She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
