...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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