I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
