dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
