shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
