I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
zippers are such a cool invention
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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