Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
