I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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