also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
