Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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