Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
zippers are such a cool invention
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
