I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
