He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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