how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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