I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
