they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
