Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize