I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
