Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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