There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize