dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
