I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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