Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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