I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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