Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
