he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
