hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
