I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
