She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize