So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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