oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Actions speak louder than pants.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
