He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
