the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
