I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
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Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
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