New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
