I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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