Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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