I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
