you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
