But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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