I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize