Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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