Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize