someone owes me an orgasm
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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