you're like a bully in the Christmas story
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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