Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize